After posting my last commentary on Eating Pet Peeves, I felt I needed to say a little something about table etiquette. Some people have it, some people don’t. I feel this has a LOT to do with your upbringing. Do you hold your silverwear properly or do you just shovel food into your mouth? Do you eat slowly and chew your food with your mouth closed, or do you act like a modern day Attila the Hun at the table?
I just found this blog article from the GourmetStation Blog about Dinner Party Etiquette for the 21st Century. Its got some great tips regarding table manners and such. If you are attending a dinner party, or have the pleasure of hosting your own, I would suggest taking a look at that article, as it has some great advice on dinner party etiquette for the new millenium.
That all being said, I’m not THAT concerned about formal table etiquette, its great if you have it, but its not completely necessary that you know everything there is to know about it. Heck, I can’t say for certain what the proper order for a multi-course meal is, or which fork to use for sampling cheese. So it would be unfair of me to expect that from others. But, at the same time, there are a few basic table manners that should be learned, regardless of your upbringing and comfort level. Most of these items have been covered ad nauseum by your mother, but PLEASE try to remember them next time you sit down at the table.
1. When you sit down at the table, place the napkin on your lap. There really isn’t any time where its appropriate to use your sleeve to wipe your mouth… use the napkin that was placed there for a reason.
2. No matter how hungry you are, please be respectful of other people at the table. If you are passing platters around, please make sure that you take a fair share. It really sucks when you see a guy pile on 4 helpings of mash potatoes on their plate, and by the time the platter makes it around the table, there aren’t any left. If there are leftovers after everyone else has a chance to get some. Then, you can go back for a second helping.
3. Try to be as quiet as you can while eating. Any extra noise making like slurping or belching just isn’t very polite. You might be comfortable, or think its funny… but generally it isn’t.
4. Chew with your mouth closed. This could possibly be the MOST IMPORTANT table manners tip I could possibly give. Nobody wants to see you chomping away like a cow.
5. Don’t talk with your mouth full. Kind of goes along with #4. People don’t want to get splattered by chewed up food, plus its really hard to understand someone that is trying to speak while chewing on a piece of steak.
6. Don’t pick something out of your teeth. No matter how annoying it is, please wait until you go to the bathroom (make sure you excuse yourself) to start picking at your teeth. Asking someone for a matchbook so you can work that piece of meat our of your molars just isn’t appropriate at the dinner table.
7. When asked to pass something, only try to pass it if you are the one closest to the item asked for. DO NOT, under any circumstances, reach over someone else’s plate to grab something. Also, if asked to pass something, do not use that item before passing it on. For example, someone asks for you to pass the butter… Please, Please, Please… do not stop and put butter on your bread before passing it on. Once it’s reached its intended requestor, then you can ask for it back…
SIDE NOTE FOR PASSING THE SALT: When asked for the Salt, you should pass both the salt AND pepper together. Remember to keep them together.
8. Use the utensils that are on the table. Thats what they are there for. Which utensil you use and in what order are generally not that important. Nobody is looking over your shoulder to see if you are using the dinner fork instead of the salad fork. If you aren’t quite sure which utensil you should be using, just take a peek at your neighbor for a clue.
SIDE NOTE ON UTENSIL USAGE: If there is any question in your mind wether you should use your fingers, DON’T. For example, it is generally acceptable to use your fingers to break bread and eat it. But while it might be ok at KFC to use your fingers to eat fried chicken, at a more formal restaurant, its probably not ok. Default to using your fork and knife.
9. Seasonings should only be used AFTER you have tried them, and it should only be used on your own plate! Its rather an insult to the person that cooked the food for you to start seasoning it before bothering to taste it first.
10. Here is the biggest tip I can give regarding table etiquette. Its just common sense really. Its better to be over-cautious than under-cautious when it comes to table manners. If you have any questions about wether you should be doing something, DON’T DO IT!
a big one for me is when dining in a group at a restaurant, i absolutely abhor when people dig into their food before everyone has been served! it’s so rude but so much more common anymore!